One second we were thirteen year olds in uniforms, exchanging stories in the hallways, spending long hours over the telephone, and walking home from school. Suddenly, I’m working fourteen hours a day while she’s immersed in medical school. Babs and I never see each other anymore, except for brief encounters in church after we go to mass. Most of the time, we just end up sending each other quick texts.

Sometimes we realize that a lot of things have changed in each other’s life. Since graduating from high school, we’ve gone to different universities, met new friends, lived through new heartaches, reached different milestones.

Some things never change, though, like our thick curls (which we abhorred in high school but have learned to love and style now), our (what’s the right word? Obsession? Dependence?) love for coffee, and our best-friendship. Even if we don’t see each other anymore, we hold on dearly to our tradition of TBBF (true-blue best friends) Saturdays. Once in a while, we re-arrange our schedules to spend one Saturday together, where we have lunch, window show, and then end the day with brewed Viennese or French Roast coffee and cheesecakes at CBTL. Once we plop ourselves down in CBTL, everything—from the seats to the coffee to the company—feels comfortable. Familiar. Beloved. This is where we relive our juvenile experiences, catch up on our current lives, and ponder on future possibilities.

We don’t pretend that we’re the same thirteen year old girls because we’re not. (We’ve gotten hips since then!) One thing I do know is that we’re still best friends, and that’s something we celebrate every time we end up in CBTL. It may have been months since our last hurrah, but one sip of coffee, one excited “I have kuwento!”, and we’re back. J

Please excuse me for taking a hiatus from the blogging world. It was an incredibly busy two weeks and now I'm looking forward to relishing the "break".

Today is Christmas and I have to say it is totally devoid of any tradition we have ever had. No "special" food (we had leftovers), no Christmas parties to attend (we had them yesterday), no programs or whatever. We woke up after lunch, swapped gifts, and decided to sleep and watch DVDs in our respective rooms.

I don't really feel sad or whatever, I understand that it's just the way things are these days. I don't need sugary traditions to feel the Christmas spirit. I realized three things make me feel the Christmas spirit the most--Simbang Gabi, shopping and reunions. I finished the nine days of Simbang Gabi, and it absolutely rocked. Even if I only went to Gesu once, practically all the homilies I listened to were great. I really prayed hard that the Christmas would be meaningful, and going to mass, listening to the homilies, praying as one community, and preparing myself spiritually for Christmas really made me excited for the coming of baby Jesus.

Of course, shopping took care of the gift-giving spirit of Christmas. It's always fun to shop, even if it is frustrating to find perfect gifts for people and to lug them all around all day. The idea of making other people smile with a gift is the best. I may be broke now, but hey, it's fun.

And parties are always fun. I met up with the Heffalumps first (to make sure we DID see each other) and had a string of work parties. Last weekend the Brew Crew had an early (well, it was early for me) Christmas brunch, and everyone in Pancake House watched our loud and crazy kris kringle. Next week I'm excited to meet up with my high school barkada (especially because AUJ IS HERE!!!) and Babs, of course.

Yayness!

Now back to watching How I Met Your Mother. Haha.

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Sigh-o. I've been having a couple of tough days at work.

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Blefleh. I don't know exactly how to phrase everything. Maybe it's just that I've been working for practically two months, but I still feel like a clueless newbie. And you just cannot be a clueless newbie here. I don't think I've ever been in this position before. Grappling to phrase my cluttered, vague thoughts into coherent sentences while realizing I have no idea what I'm talking about. Slowly turning red as the person in front of you stares you down with a withering you've-got-to-be-kidding-me-why-do-I-have-to-work-with-you? look mixed with expectation and disappointment. Asking infinite questions and not understanding the answers. Replying "I don't know." to questions that need immediate answers to or answering questions I'm not sure what the answers to are.

I am definitely learning a lot, and I know all these morose feelings are in exchange for the priceless, kick-ass training I'm getting, but for the past couple of days I just haven't been able to shake them off. Listlessly typing at my desk, trying to focus on something productive, yet all my attention is on the heavy feeling I have all over. I just keep telling myself that this is what I wanted--to start at the bottom of the feeding chain, to learn from scratch and get by with my own efforts. Nobody told me it would be this painful, though. I've began to questions everything about myself, and that's not an easy thing to do.

At least I'm in a great place--I love my job. And CMD. 

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CADS visited the office yesterday to choreograph the opening performance for the employees. As usual, I was starstruck. I adore CADS, and if I had been a better dancer, I would have signed up for CADS. They're the coolest--they taught me the steps to Soulja Boy (oh my God it's crazy fun when you see them dancing this all together), they made up crazy steps for the board presentation, and performed their winning routine. I wish they were always in the office, haha.

Sadly, my love for dance doesn't translate. It's probably because I don't look like a dancer (harhar). You see, each department makes a presentation for the Christmas party. It usually involves dancing, and I was a bit disappointed I don't get to dance. I'd much rather dance than write the script (which I was assigned to do. People seem to think writing comes so easily when you're a writer. IT'S NOT!!!). Oh well, maybe next year.

The good news is, I get to hang out with the CADS people when they visit to help with the choreography. Maybe they'll teach me some awesome steps! Hee.

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I guess there are perks to hanging out in Starbucks all the time. My phone ran out of battery tonight, and I was freaking out on the way home, trying to figure out how to get home. I walked to Madrigal and I asked our dear barista friends to call my house for me, and fifteen minutes later, my Kuya was pulling up. Sigh. I guess Starbucks really is more than just coffee. C:

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Hurrah, hurrah! Diyes is it, baby! C:

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So I've been lying in my bed for the past thirty minutes just thinking about:

1. Whether to take a bath tonight or tomorrow morning.

2. How expensive Starbucks is.

3. Why I keep going anyway.

4. Whether I should start on a Powerpoint I have to do.

5. What customer activation I can implement.

6. Gossip Girl, The Office, How I Met Your Mother, Pushing Daisies, Reaper, and Weeds.

7. How excited I am to see the baboys tomorrow.

8. How I wish ALL of us are going to be there. (Three years in a row for Charles' birthday, baby, yeah!)

9. The agony of waking up early again tomorrow.

10. When I can finally go walking-slash-jogging again.

I have to get off my ass and decide on what to do now. I am so incredibly sleepy.

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